Wednesday, February 19, 2014

I took a shower today. It went something like this.........

I walk into the bathroom and shut the door. Mac knocks on the door and asks for something to eat. I remind him he was eating an apple when I entered the bathroom..

As I entered the shower, X-Man lets fly a blood curdling scream followed by wailing, gasping and sobbing. Even though I knew it was X-Man, I still had visions of Cinco falling backwards down the stairs and landing on the hardwood floors. I bellowed for someone to tell me what had happened. Baby waltzed in and said "Mac took the papers out to recycling like you said but X-Man wanted to keep the McDonalds ad because he was looking at it."

Three minutes into the shower, X-Man starts pounding on the door yelling "Potty!" Someone let him in. I remind him that he is not allowed to open the drawers and throw toothbrushes, hair brushes or anything else into said potty. He starts to cry. Whoever let him into the bathroom did not shut the door, so Cinco followed him in. I yelled that someone needed to shut the door. So someone did. With X-Man and Cinco inside.

Cinco opened a drawer, X-Man yelled "No baby!" and slammed it shut. Cinco started crying. I popped my head out to make sure that no one's fingers had just been slammed. Meanwhile Cinco was pulling things out from under the sink and trying to crawl in it. Clearly my five minute hair therapy treatment wasn't going to happen.

Baba wandered in and said "Oh Cinco's in here" and wandered back out. Without Cinco. Meanwhile X-Man got off the potty, opened the shower door, offered me my towel, dropped my towel in the shower and decided he should climb in. As did Cinco. X-Man got in the shower, Cinco could not. And was outraged.

X-Man yelled at me "HOT!!!" and climbed back out, knocking Cinco over in his haste. Cinco, recognizing that he was off to something more interesting, didn't cry. X-Man remembered that he was in there to use the potty, climbed back on, jumped off and flushed. I don't know what, if anything he did, but he exited the bathroom yelling, "PONIES". I briefly thought of my waterlogged toddler running across my hardwood floors and decided,as the bathroom had been evacuated, it was time for me to escape.

And that, folks, is why I don't exercise. Because if you exercise you have to shower. And if you shower.....they will find you.

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