Tuesday, August 16, 2016

It may have not escape the astute reader's notice that I have not been writing much recently. This is due to many factors. First of all, this blog exists mostly to detail my children's exploits. They have been reigning in the crazy in recent months, dare I say, almost well behaved. Or, which is as plausible, they have determined it is better to be crazy without an audience. Furthermore, it is the summer. I always envision remarkable days of achievement and accomplishment, adventures and memories made. Rather, the summer becomes a long session soccer camps and swimming lessons and soccer tournaments. And the sinking feeling you were supposed to get a lot more done than you have.

X-Man and Cinco have spent the summer in a soccer camp. It was glorious. Mostly because, for the first time ever, X-Man was not only age appropriate behavior-wise, but he was the best. He was the most physically capable, the fastest and the most confident. All of which was to be expected since he was the oldest in the class. However, Cinco was nipping on his heals. She has definitely made the most of her years, quite literally, of hanging out on the soccer sidelines. She's looking like she should have a bright future on the field. She also paid tribute to her Italian heritage by flopping quite a bit.

I didn't think anything of it at first. Cinco fell down, but she's my kid. She's Baby's sister. Falling comes quite naturally. Baby scored a winning goal in a tournament years ago, after running out of her shoe. The ref looked perplexed and as if he thought he should probably blow his whistle, but Baby was on a mission. She scored, much to the chagrin of the opposing team's parents who were certain there was a trick play at work. Rather, it was just poor parenting as Baby explained "My MOM tied my shoes." She hopped back to the ref and held her foot up Cinderella style and then asked him to tie her other one as well. Just in case.

But two weeks into soccer camp, I noticed that Cinco had a strategy to flopping. It happened only if X-Man beat her to something AND (this is an essential element) her coach was near by. Her coach was a young enthusiastic young man who was very concerned each time she hit the ground. He'd help her up  and she'd hold his hand for the next few exercises. If he was paying attention to other students, Cinco would suddenly find herself on the ground. And if he didn't notice, she'd move closer and collapse again. Other girls in the class pick up on this trick as well, collapsing to the group if his hands were holding other students hands.

Eventually, I got annoyed with the whole thing and yelled "You're embarrassing yourself! Get up! X-Man's beating you!" This certainly had the desired effect for Cinco, she popped right up and chased down her brother. Then she stole his ball but at least she did it on both feet. Of course my outburst drew some attention from the other parents. They did not approve of my style. Or my dismissiveness towards any potential injury. But I didn't care. I'm a red blooded American who doesn't fall down and most certainly doesn't raise girls to need boys to pick them up thank you very much.

I was pleased that Mac, Baba and Baby all insisted on coming to watch the soccer camps. It was sweet that after years of being watched, they were all excited to watch X-Man and Cinco. And they did indeed put on a show.

During the course of typing this, I've had to institute the new, and extra cruel rule, of no tea parties on the stairs. Which apparently is the only plausible location for any festivities in the house. I also
nixed the whole cereal and milk at the tea party idea as well. Although honestly, it had moved passed the idea stage and was actually being smuggled to the stairs when I intercepted them. See what I mean about keeping the antics on the down low?