I pulled the old trick of the father figure. Lay down with the baby to help her go to sleep and conveniently miss out in the chaos in the rest of the house. The chaos was actually rather minimal last night as the father figure was playing chess with the kids, but I was ready to call it a night. And while I was ok with X-Man meandering around, I wasn't a fan of Cinco and X-Man holding court together.
So off to bed we went. It did not go well. If you've seen the "How to Fight a Baby" video well it was that. Only, Cinco wasn't the baby. Except sometimes she was. I just wasn't fighting all that well. Or at all. Cinco was very excited to be in bed with me. And she showed her excitement by trying to drag my face all over the bed to better show me....stuff. She has very sharp fingernails. And the easiest point of contact for her was none other than my mouth. My lips to be precise. So that was not exactly comfortable.
I would pry her absurdly attached little fingers off and settle her down. She was in bed with me because she screamed when placed in her own bed. I was beginning to think happy Cinco might be worse than angry Cinco. This hunch was confirmed as she viciously began to suck on my neck. In a "I lost my binkie, actually I threw it worth a shriek, and any port in a storm." As I pried her off my neck, she decided to fist bump me. With her head. On my eye socket.
While I was reacting with more noise than I would prefer to admit, Cinco realized "Hey, you know what I haven't done in a few hours....bite mom's nose!" And more shrieking from me. I believe I actually asked her "What did I do to you?!"
Of course Cinco felt bad, so she attempted to fix my hair as a sign of her care for me. It did not go well. Although my hair was due for a thinning. So, it was helpful I suppose. She was as successful as she was because she propped herself up by kneeling on my stomach. She also thought my eye lashes needed to be manicured.
I think this is why the father figure keeps staking out the couch..