Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Oddly enough, I find myself exiting 2013 more happy, more hopeful and more peaceful than I entered it. Despite........

Things I said in 2013.

if you can't remember how to make your bed I'm pretty sure I can't remember how to make dinner.

I stay home with my kids because no one can give the quality of care to my children that I can. No one. I'm in a class by myself. On a side note, X-Man can remove his diaper while still wearing footed pajamas. He's faster when the diaper is poopy. And Mac just announced "I like to wear my underwear for three days if it has a cool picture on it." I didn't say what class my childcare was........

I don't know why all my children don't have red hair. I also don't know why any of my children have red hair.

I know that it's in New York, but the name is still the Statue of Liberty.  

I don't know who came up with contractions, but I'm pretty sure that they didn't want you to cry about them.

Don't open the oven when food is cooking. Just don't open the fridge. Don't shut the dishwasher while I'm unloading it. 

Why are you trying to climbing into the oven. Yes I know it's hot! It's an oven!

Don't lick the baby.

That which does not kill you makes you stronger. Which means this family is headed towards Incredible Hulkness or the morgue.

I don't really know what you want me to do about Mac continuing to say that Madagascar is a real place. 

Don't lick the baby's toes.

Things I thought in 2013

I mean, really, who HASN'T sat at the exit of Target while their son empties his rubber rain boots of all the food that fell in them. And then put them on his feet. And then remove them....because there's still food in them. 

Brushing X-Man's teeth with his own toothbrush=torture. Not brushing X-Man's teeth with any other family member's toothbrush = torture.

Well I guess if you have to jaunt down to labor and delivery, that's as good a time as ever to discover you only shaved on leg this morning.

Today's capricious and arbitrary parental rulings...thou shalt not kick the lap top, thou shalt not climbing into the baby's bed, mostly especially while she is sleeping. Protestations continue.

My mom stare is completely wasted on my children. Fortunately it is not wasted on shoplifters at Target.

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