Rough Translation transcribed 2:17am

"You know what I haven't done in 38 minutes? Nurse. You know what I love to do? Nurse.
I said I want to nurse. I KNOW you heard me. I SAID I WANT TO NURSE. And by WANT I mean NEED. Like TOTALLY. RIGHT NOW. MUST NURSE NOW!!!!!!

Is it too much to ask for just a smidgen of eye contact? Is it too much to at least act like you enjoy this bonding time? Here what if I pull your hair? You really react when I pinch your ribs. Something about my nails being really sharp. You make funny noises when I do that. It makes me laugh. 

What did you eat today? This tastes like coffee. I don't really like coffee. I KNOW I've told you that before. I going to have to try the other side. 

I said 'I'm going to have to try the other side'. Fine I'll do it myself. Have to crawl across you. In the dark. Probably will get strangled in the blankets but apparently you don't care. Have everything myself in this family. Next you'll make me change my own diapers. 

Good grief, this side is as bad as the first. What do you eat? More cookies less Thai. Please. I might as well crawl back over to the other side. At least there I can lay in comfort, which is all the comfort I get as the food here is less than stellar. Don't worry, I've got it. No need assist me. Really, heaven forbid you break a sweat caring for me. 

You know, this works way better for me if I lay on your stomach. No I said it's better here. BETTER. PUT ME BACK RIGHT NOW!!!!!" NOW!!!! Good thing you're not in the service industry. 


Hey, hey HEY!!! I know what you're doing. The binkie will not cut it. NO. NO BINKIE. Oh don't you get an attitude with me, just because I threw it. Hey you're the one who's trying to pull a fast one. I'm just being authentic here. Sure, make the father figure go get the binkie. Drag him into this. Don't every think about pawning me off on him. Like daddy and a binkie can even come close to what I need. He doesn't even have long enough hair to pull. 

All this work has made me very sleepy. I put my trust in you and then you go and try to shake me off. What does it take for a little girl to get some sleep here. Can you just leave me in peace? If you would just leave me in peace I wouldn't have to bring my teeth in to express my displeasure. This is really all on you. Really. 

But it's all good. I love you mommy. Mostly I love your nose. And your ear. I love both so much. I can't decide which I want to sleep with. Both. I need both. I love them both so much. Especially the way my finger can go in both your nose and your ear. While I am still holding them. That's so cool. 

NO I"M NOT DONE YET. Can't a girl get a little shut eye mid snack? Good grief. I intend to file a formal complaint.  Probably tomorrow."


Rough Translation transcribed  3:29am

"You know what I haven't done in a while? Nurse!"