Wednesday, July 31, 2013

The problem with being invited to a family wedding is they want you to bring your children. Or worst yet, have your children participate in the wedding. Chances are you will have the toddler who is engaging in rampantly socially unacceptable behavior that requires the arm strength of an NLF wide receiver to contain as the toddler in question is the size of a linebacker. You only think I exaggerate.

Furthermore, if you are at a family wedding, family members will steal your little well behaved infant. Which leaves you toddler-less and infant-less and forced to focus solely on the ceremony. Now this doesn’t seem like bad a scenario, and it isn’t, provided it isn’t your daughter serving as the flower girl and it’s an outdoor wedding and it’s pushing 100 degrees.

Baby doesn’t suffer much well, and heat is no exception. She was thrilled to death to be included in the wedding and her cousin certainly made her feel special and very much included. Baby’s first job required her to escort the ring bearer down the aisle. He was two and very uncertain. This is where Baby shines.  But then it came time to stand still and observe the ceremony. That’s where Baby’s talent ended. She shuffled, squirmed and looked generally unimpressed with the heat and lack of water features. We repeatedly made eye contact and I knew I was radiating disapproval. I even mouthed “Be still” “pay attention”, she would comply for fifteen seconds or so and then realize that she was standing next to a tree and investigate it instead. She counted the remaining petals in her basket. She attempted to remove her wreath, due to sweat issues but only ended up with her hair tangled. She played with the maid of honor’s dress.  The clincher came as she was balancing on the edge around the tree and feel down. During the final prayer.  I would have been embarrassed if I hadn’t been on my way to confirm that X-Man wasn’t actually being eaten alive by hyenas.

There’s a fine line between sweet and not sweet. Baby walks that line. She lives on the line. But she’s yet to actually cross it. I suppose she’s saving that for her teenage years.

No comments:

Post a Comment