Monday, April 21, 2014

Someone gave X-Man a squirt gun. In the car! I am perplexed as to how anyone could ever think this was a good idea. Not that a good idea has ever been a requirement for any of my kids’ shenanigans. And so, heading home, I was hit by a spray of water. While attempting to merge onto the freeway. It was not conducive to safe driving. So X-Man shot me. I yelled at X-Man. X-Man turned the gun onto a sleeping Cinco. I yelled at X-Man again. His five point harness did not allow him to turn and shoot his siblings. So he contented himself by shooting the car windows. Until he dropped it. Then he began to wail. So clearly the obvious remedy in Baby’s eyes was to hand him yet another squirt gun.

Why were there squirt guns in my car? Well that’s thanks to my mother. I think she’s out to get me. She cleverly disguised her plan as prizes in Easter baskets for them. It worked. That that does not kill us makes us stronger. I can now drive through a squirt gun attack.

I’m glad that X-Man is enjoying his Easter prizes. He had a rough go of it while at Church for Easter. The service started out with candle light. X-Man wanted a candle. Desperately.  I attempted to help him hold mine. But he was not interested in holding my candle. He was interested in blowing it out. So there I was, holding a symbol of the light of Christ….and my son blew it out. Not content with extinguishing my little light, he demanded access to his Nana’s. His Nana said no. X-Man wailed. He then proceeded to attempt to blow out any and all nearby candles. He was not particularly successful. But most definitely not for lack of trying. There might be some symbolism here that I would rather not think about.

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