Pick me up please now! I need you, I love you. And I want what you are eating. I'm pretty sure it's banana peal because that's the most yummiest thing to me right now and you never let me have it. Probably because you are hoarding it all for yourself.

Wait! X-Man is holding my doll. Put me down! Put me down NOW! And tell him to give it to me because screaming at him isn't getting the message across.  And tell him to get out of his car because my baby wants to ride on it.

Well if you won't make X-Man give the baby his car, pick me up. Now. I will wait for you to put your coffee down . If I must. I hope you realize the patience I am exhibiting. Which I more than I can say you showed me last night. I didn't ask to be wide awake last night but I heard something about an eclipse you wanted to see.  You're welcome.

What are you doing? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? That's MY poop!!! I made it! Why are you taking it away from me? It's mine! I really want it! I'm leaving now. I can't be part of this. And no you can't put another diaper on me just so you can take it away again.

What's with the tissue? Why do you hate anything that comes from me? And if you want my nose clean then what's wrong with your shirt? It's way more comfortable,  which is why you wear it. I mean really, if it's good enough for you why not for me? Also, what's up with not sharing your shoes as well? It's not like there aren't enough to go around.

If you would stop chatting with your friends and pay attention to me, you would notice that I am close to starvation here. I saw you watch the viral video that claims moms work 24 hours a day, coulda fooled me. If you had been on the ball here mom, I wouldn't' have had to climb the pantry shelves and bust out the non-organic cereal bars. You're acting as if I ate the whole box. I didn't eat a single one.  I just prechewed them for you. My goodness I'm trying to help you out here.

Oh sure I'm the one that needs a nap. Guess I'll take one for the team.....again.