Baby sidled up to me last night and asked "Do you use our names on your blog?" First of all, I was not aware that she knew on the existence of my blog. Second of all, she asked in such a way that I knew she knew the answer. I responded "no." "That's what I thought. Is my name Baby?" "Yes, how'd you know?" "Oh I read it on your phone." Hmmmm........
We discussed the benefits of internet privacy and how they will all thank me that I use aliases. "But I still think you should use Daddy's name." Somehow, poor schmuck doesn't have the same ring to it.
It's been three days, so clearly X-Man was due for another doctor visit. The father figure tagged along and got to partake in the fun. First on the agenda, weigh the X-Man. Apparently over is not a weight class for toddlers. X-Man recoiled from the sight of a panel in the floor as if it were a bath. The father figure and I each took an arm and tried to swing him on, with enthusiastic "whees!!!" He refused to touch down, keeping his legs tucked underneath his chin. Next attempt involved the father figure holding him under the arms pits and lowering him on to the scale. I have never seen anyone straddle the scale, refusing to touch it in any manner and I've seen all the seasons of The Biggest Loser. But straddle he did, bracing his arms on the wall and locking his knees. The pregnant me (who is not in existence for the record) could have taken some lessons from this fellow.
Since we basically still live at the doctor's, they decided that they could use a previous weight and continue on. X-Man may still be in diapers, but he has his dignity and there is no lady in the world who will know his actual girth.
The result of this story is that I don't know how much X-Man weighs but I do know that he disdains strawberry flavored antibiotics with the same intensity as banana flavored ones or unflavored. He can also projectile spit them farther than I can dodge.