Monday, October 21, 2013

I live to make other people happy. Ok not really, but that's what I say when things get awkward. Especially when I give the bank teller a cashier's check. And she politely tells me that she's never seen one that looks like this one does. Distractedly I reassured her that it's all good, I've brought several checks from my credit union here. See, we hide our money in a hard to reach credit union, I even hid the debit cards and checks so well that I can't find them, which would be effective. Except that contractors seem to not be in the mood to donate their services, so payment must be rendered. So I trek to the credit union and then to the bank, where they look at the paper I had them and are confused. The teller smiled a little uncomfortably and asked "Is there any other paper they gave you?" I obligingly searched my purse and pulled out another paper, and not the used tissues and baby wipes, and handed it to her. She looked very relived and said "Yes, this is actually the check." I must have looked horrified as I geuinely asked her "If this is how I am on Monday what's Thursday going to be like?" She laughed and laughed and laughed and thanked me for being so understanding. No, that's the problem, I don't understand how I am going to survive this week.

I was out taking full advantage of this perfect fall weather, trying to get my yard ready for winter. A neighbor came over and said "I was telling my sister that you have five kids and homeschool and teach classes online and drive this huge car. I don't know how you do it!" Yeah, because it's really the car that pushes it over the edge. We had a good neighborly chat which ended with her lending me gardening tools. As she was handing me them, she smiled at Mac and said "And soon you will be coming over to mow my yard!" To which Mac gallantly replied "Uh no. I stay out of strangers' yards." 

Meanwhile back at the ranch, X-Man was running amok. It seemed cute when, at the pumpkin patch, he came toddling over carrying a perfect pumpkin. I didn't think it through. The pumpkin he could carry at the patch was the one he could throw at home.

Yes, while I was visiting with our nice neighbor, X-Man was chucking pumpkins at the borrowed vehicle sitting in the driveway. He started with his own, but quickly moved up to his siblings larger pumpkins. The child was lifting produce the size of his head and torso and flinging them. As well as one can fling something nearly his own body weight. There's a ramp leading to our front door as well as stamps, because we are progressive enough to be ADA compliant, so he did settle for rolling Baba's huge pumpkin down it.

I after the third unexplainable thud, I turned from my conversation to see the fourth one go airborne. Really, an impressive feat if you think about it. He beamed at me and announced "Look Mama, BALLS!!!!" 

Now when you are throwing things that weigh what you do, there's not a lot of lift to them and therefore not a lot of destruction that can actually occur. Which is good, because all of the kids are, well at least the three oldest, are looking forward to carving their pumpkins. X-Man hadn't actually destroyed any of them. Which actually surprised me, because despite my instructions to cease and desist, he gleefully continued his hurling of gourds. There is no way that the X-Man pumpkin will survive until carving. The thing has got to be bruised beyond recognition.

As I hauled my little destructive goblin inside, he wrapped his very strong, yet very tired, arms around my neck and sighed in a satisfied manner, " I luv mumkins Mama." Oh honey, you can throw all the mumkins you want for the rest of your life.


  1. I confess, sometimes I take a look at your blog just to read X-man stories. I have my own X-Man but the ZachAttack is 21 now and away in college. I can't begin to estimate how much cash that kid cost me in other kid's broken toys in his youth. He once jumped up and down on a bed plunging a Phillips head screwdriver into the wall to see how high up he could put a hole. 27 times. Plaster and lathe. When he was supposed to be napping. (I thought it sounded like he was jumping but I wanted to give him a little time to settle down. He was like that.) He has grown up to be a wonderful young man and quite a bit more responsible than I thought he would be when he was a child. And he still likes to take things apart but now he fixes them when he puts them back together. He still likes to throw his arms around my neck and say, "I love you, Mommy!" God bless you and the X-Man.


    1. This story makes me laugh and cringe at the same time!