Wednesday, January 27, 2016

This is a Princess potty seat. It is the bane of my existence.

First of all Cinco likes to carry it around and make sure that everyone acknowledges the princesses who adorn it. She also prefers that you recognize them and greet them before assisting her up onto the seat. Of course, this happens while she is dancing out her need to use the toilet. So it’s a rushed procedure, but one that she demands be acted out each and every time. Yes, it does require her pointing to each princess. And also the horse.

It’s not that she needs the seat. She is perfectly capable of using the toilet anywhere else without it. 
Cinco’s preference for it has only grown the longer she’s been potty trained.  The bitter part of it is that she can take herself to the bathroom by herself…..if she doesn’t use the seat. With the seat, it’s a bit too tall for her to climb up. I think that’s part of her master plan. Also, keeping X-Man from using it. It’s not that her older brother has any interest in anything that pink or that princessy. It’s just Cinco is so convinced of its awesomeness that she’s concerned someone might try to illicitly use it. So, she tends to charge the bathroom every time X-Man is heading in. This results in mass chaos.

X-Man tends to wait three seconds longer than he should to make a break to the bathroom. And his break for the bathroom involves him running while pulling his pants down.  Now, throw into the mix a desperate two year old, hastily trying to save her precious princesses from whatever indignities she believes X-Man will inflict on them. Two bodies hurtling towards one narrow door yields just the results you might expect. Crashing, weeping and yes…..spraying urine. It’s yet to occur to Cinco that X-Man doesn’t sit down every time he uses the restroom. So the hysteria could certainly be reduced, but then where would be the fun in that? Not to mention, X-Man no longer clutches his rear end while racing to the bathroom when needing to sit and use the potty, so I guess a girl can’t be too careful with her guesses.  

And can we take a minute here and talk about the absurdity of the message “Glamour begins with Confidence.” What does that even mean? And why is it plastered across something that the user cannot read? Even if super genius toddler was using it, super genius is still SITTING on it. How about, “being the only high schooler whose mother has to change her diapers will be super lame.” I’m not sure how this seat is supposed to build confidence, Cinco is incapable of using the potty with the seat, too tall, and unwilling to use it without, mostly because it is necessary to stand on it in order to reach the medicine cabinet thus pilfering through all sorts of interesting stuff. Good times.

Cinco has taken to carrying the seat around with her to make sure X-Man doesn’t even look at it. X-Man has taken to locking the door while he uses the bathroom. Neither of these are desirable outcomes. 


  1. Oh my goodness. Laughing until the tears flow on this one. You should publish a book!

  2. Thanks! The thought has occurred to me before.

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