X-Man dotes on D'Garebear. D'Garebear idolizes X-Man. He follows him around and laughs anytime they make eye contact. X-Man enjoys the power that comes with being the adored older brother. He also uses D'Garebear as his excuse to do absurd things for a laugh. 

It got to the point that simply walking across the room elicited a laugh from D'Garebear. X-man decided to exaggerate his actions even more reveling in his power, and the envy of his siblings as D'Garebear ate up everything he did. X-Man broke into a dance, wiggling around, getting uncomfortably close to me as I held the joyous D'Garebear. X-Man shook his rear in my face. 

"Stop please X-Man." 

"But he thinks it's funny."

"Honey, he's a baby. He doesn't know butts are funny."

"Everyone knows butts are funny."

To compliment this argument, D'Garebear squealed with laughter and began to smack his brother's hiney. I fear the next eighteen years. 

X-Man is dedicated to caring for D'Garebear. He had blossomed into a loving big brother, with a great deal of patience.  

"Mom, when I grow up I want to be a babysitter." 

"I'm sure you'll be a very good one" 

X-Man lifts D'Garebear, who is now a fully quarter of X-Man's body weight and loves to go limp as he's lugged around. Huffing he adds "I'm going to be a single dad when I grow up." 

Of all the things to hear from your nine year old, especially as their mother, this was not expected. He catches my perplexed look. 

"I don't want to get married. That's gross." 

So, in the course of thirty seconds, I went from mentally patting myself on the back watching my sons interact with each other to wondering how I had so completely turned my son off the idea of a wife and mother in his future. I mean, maybe I do make it seem gross. If by gross one means organized and clean. His future wife would most likely expect him to brush his teeth and shower occasionally. And wear clean underwear if she's super demanding. 

"and I'm going to live in a 'repartment'." Well, as long as you've thought this through. 

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"Well how are you going to have a baby without a wife?" I mean, there's going to have to be a gross girl involved in this process at least somewhat. I get we haven't completely walked through the realities of reproduction in toto, but we have discussed how one needs the male and female parts to make a whole. Then again, I've seen how he listens to me so I don't know why I'm surprised. 

"Oh, I'm going to go to the orphanage." 

Well, then. This is a foolproof plan. 

"But, don't you think it would be better to have a mom and a dad? I mean moms and dads are both important for kids right?" 

Rule one of lawyering, and of parenting too, is don't ask a question you don't know the answer to. Or better yet, don't ask a question you don't want to hear the answer to. 

X-Man was tiring of the conversation and walked D'Garebear over to the window. He let out a long sigh. 

"Fine, I'll get him a stepmother." 

Well then. I guess that's that.