Tuesday, September 1, 2015

I had to give a talk yesterday. It was entitled “Ordering Your Life.” I did not choose the title. My co-presenter did. We had never officially met, which explains why he thought this would be an acceptable topic.

While preparing my talk, about ordering life, I discovered every necklace I had was broken. They all hung under a mirror in my bedroom. They looked lovely there. And apparently they sang the song of Cinco’s people, because although they were all still hanging, each one had been carefully dissected. 
Or used as slingshots for small, stuffed animals.   

So there I was, observing that my outfit really required a necklace. And I did not have one. But Cinco solved my problem; she came up and grabbed a hold of me. With her yogurt covered hands.

I chose a clean shirt that was better accented with a scarf.

I left various children with various grandparents, because it being a day that ended in “y” there were activities to get to. I managed to find the location without being late and gave my talk. College grades indicate that I perform best with an off the cuff winging it approach and last night was no different.

The problem with doing things in tandem is that there’s always a second act. And you should pay attention to the second act. Which I would have, if the father figure hadn’t texted me. The father figure, who knew I was giving a presentation, texted me “call me as soon as you can.”  Clearly one or more children were in the emergency room.

Or, the refrigerator was threatening to go on strike.

This is totally something I could handle while in a different state. Quite literally. At least the different state part.

So there I was, clearly ignoring my co-speaker, reading the various messages from the father figure. He has the kids empty out the fridge into the outside one. And…..well that’s all you can do when your fridge is throwing a fit at 9pm at night. That and text your wife and stress her already genetically defective heart.  

Next talk I give will be entitled "Entropy in Your Life......How to Roll with It."

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