Wednesday, August 13, 2014

How to take X-Man to a theme park.

1) offer to do doughtnuts for church at 7am, because nothing says successful family day like waking everybody up at 6am.

2) make individual potty stops for each kid. Because......why not?

3) Get to the park. Realize that you don't have the stroller.

4) Get to the gate. Traumatize the poor employee as you try to figure out what the heck you are doing. End 
up buying wristbands for everyone.

5) Stop at the bathrooms first, because X-Man annouced that he wants to see the potties.  Not use the potties, but definitely check them out.

6) Discover that X-Man has already removed his ride bracelet. 

7) Look for X-Man's not cheap ride bracelet.

8) Find X-Man's ride his mouth.

9) Get a new bracelet...attach it around his ankle.

10) fight X-Man over the bracelet, explain to him that it is not actually giving him "ouches".

11) Attempt to move forward, only to discover the Cinco has made a  boom boom in her diaper. Lose X-Man as he decides to climb the retaining wall.

12) Finally release the children to the park.....commence running.

13) Explain to X-Man the concept of waiting in line.

14) Try a different method of explaining line waiting to X-Man.

15) Focus on the word WAIT while conversing with X-Man.

16)  Run after X-Man. Recognize that you are not as adept at bobbing and weaving as a three year old. 

17) Lose X-Man in the cave maze.

18) Crack your head while running through caves looking for X-Man. Swear you can hearing him laughing.

19) Find X-Man. Ask him where his shoes are.........

20) Take X-Man up and down the slide 37 times.

21) Take X-Man potty. Sit him on the potty. Check to make sure the door in locked.

22) Catch X-Man as he falls off the potty. In the two seconds it took you to shut the door, the boy has actually fallen asleep.

23) Lug the sleeping X-Man out of the bathroom. Commence chasing Cinco.

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