Here are some things that I learned over the weekend:

If Baby and Mac are left alone in a bedroom screaming will commence. It’s not so much that I learned this. But I did learn that one, out of many, things they will fight about involves who will get out of the car first. Keep in mind neither one was in the car at the time. They were, judging by the progress they were making in their chores, hours away from actually getting in the car. However, proximity to the car is not necessary to the hashing out of the proper order of de-caring. Also, apparently I am the only person who finds this behavior absurd.  But there is nothing like a mother trying to point out absurdity of behavior to establish a united front with previous feuding siblings.

If you pick out clothes as a birthday gift for a young girl, make sure to listen to your daughter’s advice, not the mother of the child. This will guarantee that your daughter does not create a birthday card with a PS My mom picked out your gift. Also, I recommend proofreading any and all cards created by your children, to guarantee they contain no bizarre comments, such as “I hope your birthday cake isn’t poison.” Unless you’re the kind of person who enjoys hearing sentiments such as that read aloud in a sea of sweet messages spelled out in pink and glitter.

If you are informing your son that he is not to shout orders to his father, because he is not to tell his father what to do, he will come back with “I’ll tell him what to do if I’m king.” Fair enough.

The only reason why X-Man enjoys pointing out the various facial features is because it gives him an opportunity to stick a finger up my nose. And it is entirely unreasonable for me to forbid him to then stick the finger in my mouth. No matter how much he wants to touch my “teee”. It’s been a struggle to write this blog because he’s obsessed with sticking his finger up Cinco’s nose. Her nostrils are smaller than his finger tip, so there’s plenty of frustration to go around.

Forget the Ice Cream Truck, there’s an Ice Cream Boat. Yup, enjoying a peaceful day at the lake be prepared to be serenaded by muzak versions of Christmas carols piped from a motor boat. Because the only thing more dangerous than your children charging into the street chasing a sketchy truck selling overpriced confections is having them charge into water, in pursuit of frozen delights.