If you start your negotiations off with “Since you refuse to get me a dog……” they’re not going to go well. Consider this your friendly parental service announcement.

Believe me, I get that it seems forever to close on a house. Just moving in because it is empty is not an option, believe me I’ve researched it.

Also, I can’t leave the father figure unattended ever. He just wandered in and said we need seven more kids. It’s not for tax purposes, nor is it to actually discover where my breaking point is. He just saw a unicycling family of fourteen on TV and wants to role in their figurative footsteps. Because that’s what’s missing from my life, a unicycle.

So, that's my plate today.