In case you were counting, this was visit 1643 to the doctor in the last two months. This time it was Cinco and a rash. Her great grandfather was prone to weird skin things, not my grandfather, we’re normal, so I get things checked out. Better safe than sorry. I was unaware of the various sensitivity issues that ran deep in the father figure’s gene pool when I signed up to lifeguard it. I recommend blood tests and various gene therapies . And then a pre-nup that dictates that if is YOUR weirdo familial quirks that are necessitating the doctor trip, you have to take the progeny.

As we were walking into the doctor’s office, Mac started asking me questions about Cinco’s rash. He determined, based upon the red color of the rash, that it was either lava or fire. And that life wouldn’t be all that bad in the only thing in the world was volcanoes…..that and people. And the people were “lava proof.”

Mac cut to the chase when the doctor came in.

“This is our baby and she has a rash and it’s either lava or fire.” At this point I asked Mac “What part of this is sitting still and being quiet?”

The doctor was not convinced that it was either fire or lava. She went with yeast.  Mac pointed out that yeast is not red. I pointed out that Mac is not quiet.  The doctor conceded this point and explained that yeast is not red but can make things red. Mac agreed and observed “Well she’s not breathing fire.”

So Mac concurred with the doctor and decided that Cinco has a yeast infection under her chin. This is a new one for the family annals of health. In the interests of full disclosure, it’s actually under her second chin, soon to be third. Because this is the United States of America, where you can have as many chins as you want.